I Had Nowhere To Turn: Adam McCaslin’s Story

Brittney Gomez   -  

Drugs and alcohol were my life for about fourteen years. At the age of thirteen, I drank and smoked pot for the first time. I always had a hard time being comfortable with who I was. Growing up into my later teens and early twenties I was still searching for my identity. Drugs and alcohol were the crutch that kept me content for quite a long time.
At the age of eighteen, I lost one of my best friends in a motorcycle accident. With that happening I opened up to different drugs to cope with my pain. That’s how I dealt with this kind of stuff. So while experimenting with other drugs, I got introduced to meth. Meth pretty much took over my life. Looking back, I would say that meth is the devil’s drug; it completely takes your soul. It is like there is nothing else that matters in life. I have always been very close with my family but it got to the point where they didn’t even know who I was. I was not me anymore; I was a dark, lost person. I found myself in places I never dreamed of being. I could no longer hold a job so I was dealing drugs to pay my bills and keep my head above water. I hated the person I had become. I was a lost cause and thought I was to a point in my life of no return. I would never see the real Adam again. I tried and tried to quit and get back on track. I never made it more than a few days before I would using again.
On April 18, 2010, I flipped my truck and once again ended up in jail. This was the third vehicle that I had totaled and every time I walked away from the scene without a scratch. God has had His  hands on my life for many years; I was just too blind to see it. When I got out of jail, I tried once again to quit using. I started going to Celebrate Recovery at Bethel Temple. I stayed clean about a month, but I was still continuing to drink. When I failed again at sobriety, I drove myself into depression for another few months. I can remember many nights sitting there crying and praying for this all to just go away and give me my family back. I was at the place in my life where dying didn’t sound all that bad. I had no hope. I had nowhere to turn. I didn’t know how to function anymore.
On August 28, 2010, I went back to jail. I slept the drugs off for the first two weeks. When I woke up, I called my mom and dad asking for a Bible and I started reading. It was the Celebrate Recovery Bible. I prayed a prayer out of that Bible and I meant this more than I have ever meant anything. This was a life-changing prayer and decision for me. I prayed to my Father that I wanted to accept Christ into my heart. I told Him I would do whatever it was that He wanted. I was willing to do whatever it took on my part. I had finally surrendered. From that day on, I was seeking the Lord and I finding out quickly what grace was.
In my walk with Christ, I kept myself really involved with anything that could help me grow closer to Him. I was excited to see what He had in store for me next and still am to this day. Since I have had Christ in my life I have found happiness and I have found purpose. I don’t sit up at night crying myself to sleep. God has healed me of my addiction; I no longer fight this struggle in my life. I am a new creation. I don’t say this lightly. Christ has restored my family and we are closer than we have ever been. I no longer have low self-esteem issues or thoughts about death. I will tell you one thing when the Lord is ready for me, I am ready for that day. I know where I am going. I am going to be with my Father. I was wrong; there still was a hope and my hope and strength comes from Christ. It is amazing! I can now look in the mirror and see me again. I am happy with my life today. I owe this all to Christ. I am now three years clean and sober. Thank you Lord for who you have made me. I am beyond thankful!