4 Keys to Getting Their Story
The goal for knowing one another’s story in your groups is building authentic community. ‘Authentic’ is a kind of a catch word in the “small group” world because it is often partnered with the epitome of grouping experience: BEING ORGANIC.
Having authenticity means that whatever action you are taking is worthy of acceptance or belief based on fact.
When people glimpse brief, cookie-cutter presentations of other people’s lives on Sunday mornings, they connect that to their relationship with Jesus Christ, whether they are consciously doing so or not. That is the only fact they are presented with. Growth Groups allow for the whole of a person to be exposed over a span of time. Messy or not, it is authentic, and if we can can keep Christ as the center of our groups, then hopefully we can model lives whose presentation of the Gospel is a fact worthy of belief.
So, you need to know your groups stories to create authentic community. But sitting around a living room in a circle making everyone share their story one-by-one doesn’t exactly scream ‘authentic experience’. Here are some practical tips that can help:
(1) Model it: People follow leaders. If you share your story, others will be much more open to sharing theirs. People connect with other people’s stories. Don’t be afraid to show a little vulnerability.
(2) Allow for it: Create time in your group where people feel more comfortable sharing their story. Get creative with it. Make sure and have a social time every week for natural conversation, plan social events, create games, have smaller break out times….whatever.
(3) Get a piece of it: Having one person share their whole journey can be fruitful. But it creates a long monologue. Instead of thinking you’ve got to collect the whole story of one person, think of getting a piece of everyone’s story every week. Just tell them that’s what you’re doing!
(4) Pray about it: Prayer in group can be awkward with new people still getting to know one another. But I think prayer is one of the few non-negotiables concerning what Growth Groups “do”. Plus, you never know, some people might be more willing to have you pray for what is going on in their lives than they would be just blurting it out in conversation. It is entirely possible, and important, to learn people’s story through praying with them.
What other best practices have you observed or led towards in your group to help gather stories?