Seeking Jesus First and Avoiding a National Calamity
[1] Now Absalom, David’s son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. [2] And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. [3] But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. [4] And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” [5] Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” (ESV)
2 Samuel 13:1–5 ESV Read More
Amnon is the first-born son of King David. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with his life at all. His dad wins every battle, has untold riches, and is always guided by God Himself. But of course, he is unhappy. Amnon’s cousin, Jonadab, is friends with several of the sons of David. Like a spectator or an omniscient narrator, he knows how some of these kids get along better than they know themselves.
Amnon ends up raping Tamar when she comes to feed him some cake. There are about 700 foolish moves here, sending her in alone, then having everyone leave, etc. But it should be noted that Jonadab never suggested that Amnon rape Tamar. He just told him to lie to get a visit from her. The virgin daughters of a king would be kept women, often not even keeping much company with anyone except their full brothers, which in this case was only Absalom.
Absalom was the second-born son of David. If anything were to happen to the heir-apparent, he would be up next to rule Israel after David. He and Tamar are the only children of Ahinoam, the first wife David had after Michal, his first wife ever. You can see how the rivalry is going here.
In the midst of this very complex and potent family, instead of choosing open communication between father and son, Jonadab suggests some trickery. That trickery wouldn’t just get Amnon and Tamar together, it would seize the opportunity to take Amnon captive with sin and bring great injury to them both.
That one suggestion would sprout into the destruction of Tamar’s life. She lived out her days in shame in the household of Absalom. That one suggestion from Jonadab would make Amnon end up hating Tamar more than ever. Absalom would then let that event sprout and grow into hate for Amnon that would peak 2 years later.
In the midst of this, you have to wonder if it isn’t worse that King David heard of it all, was very angry, and then didn’t do a thing. While the others were taking awful steps in response to wickedness, David stood by and did nothing.
Absalom’s hatred would lead him to kill Amnon, then flee and eventually build himself up to be king and take it from his father David by force! It kind of makes you want to get in a time machine and say “Shut up Jonadab!”
Well, it’s not Jonadab’s fault. Even though he was an influencer that gave the snowball the first push down the hill, at any point Amnon, Absalom, or David could have made things right. Acting out in the flesh is as bad as remaining passive in your flesh. Both responses contribute to disgrace on the kingdom. Our words and actions can sprout in others, as we all seek the Lord or live by our flesh together. Let us weigh our actions and focus on our King’s wishes above our own.
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