How to Talk about the Church you Used to Go To
[2] Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. [3] At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—[4] that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.
[5] Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. [6] Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
[7] Tychicus will tell you all about my activities. He is a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. [8] I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are and that he may encourage your hearts, [9] and with him Onesimus, our faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you of everything that has taken place here.
Colossians 4:2–9 ESV
If you’ve been a Christian for more than 5–8 years, you have that thing that everyone knows but you don’t talk about: where you USED to go to church. Some of us have more of these than others. For whatever reason, people tend to move on from one place to another at some point and find themselves starting over at a new church. It can be difficult to leave one, and difficult to get settled at another.
Look at Paul’s advice in this letter, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” I wish I would have taken that advice so many times! The fact is, when we complain and gripe about “what is wrong with that church” people very rarely hear the issue we bring up. Instead they hear good reasons to not go to any church, or more reasons to just stay away from those kinds of people.
Tychicus and Onesimus are going to tell the church in Collossae about Paul being in prison. How is that conversation going to go? He isn’t staying at the Holiday Inn, he’s in a Roman Prison. But Paul says he is sending them so that they can “encourage [their] hearts.”
What if we made it our mission to talk to people, especially people outside of the church, with such gracious talk that they would love the idea of going to any church, not just One Life? What if we told people in our new church about the good things God is doing at our old church instead of the 1 or 2 reasons why we left? What if your neighbors even went to your old church because it was near their house or they liked some event they attended there? It’s not like they’re sacrificing to Molech or something! There has to be something good left at your old church, even if it isn’t for you.
Whatever the reason for you to move on to a new place, it may not be universal, and like it or not, it may not matter to other people. But the things that God used to bring you in and mature you may be just what someone else needs. Let’s be gracious in our words and not tear down other parts of the Body of Christ. Let’s not give in to the stereotypes of Christian disharmony, gossip, and infighting. The Church is really beautiful. Jesus loves her, He died for her, and He continues to guide her.