February 26, 2016
Scripture Reading: 3 John 9-10
9I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us. 10So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.
Questions for Reflection:
Throughout 3 John, John is writing to Gaius about a conflict that John is having with Diotrephes. What was the problem with Diotrephes? What do you think John meant by he “loves to be first?” One commentator suggests that Diotrephes “loves to be the leader and to exercise authority.” What is the danger with that mentality? Beyond that Gary Burge suggests that based on the Greek tense, “John is not referring to a single event but to an enduring attitude.” It seems that Diotrephes has become uncoachable and wasn’t willing to submit to the leadership of others.
The reality of life is that we are going to come into conflict at times with others. There is much to learn about how we handle conflict from John’s approach to Diotrephes. John says “when I come, I will call attention.” John was planning to come and address the problem face to face. Often we may want to refrain from dealing with conflict. While it is never fun to sit down across the table from someone you are struggling with relationally, the very act can lead to reconciliation.
Further, John has pulled in another voice to the problem. John has enlisted Gaius assistance in dealing with the problem. Gaius could serve as an objective voice as he was quite familiar with both John and Diotrephes. In times of conflict, it can be helpful to have others to help mediate the problem. We see this played out often in marriage counseling or mediators in the legal system.
Are you facing a problem in a relationship right now? Perhaps it is a struggle in your marriage, with a child, or at work. How are you handling that conflict? How can you let the wisdom from John’s experience inform your current situation?