The Honor of Loving People more than Things
So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.
Philemon 1:17–22 Read More
There are a lot of ancient honor codes that come out in this short section. One of them is the mutual care and thanksgiving that shows between people in the form of favors and the proxy. A proxy is someone that acts on behalf of someone else as their exact representative. Since Paul and Philemon know each other, when Paul says “receive [Onesimus] as you would receive me,” he is saying that Onesimus is his proxy.
This is where some heavy-duty respect and love for the Lord come in. Paul served Philemon by preaching the Gospel and caring for the new church in Colossae. In that, Paul was a sort of spiritual authority over Philemon. Onesimus served Philemon as a slave–as his property. Now Paul is asking Philemon to treat the slave with the same respect and honor as a spiritual leader.
In order to do this, Philemon is going to have to pay a price. Not in cash, but in his own honor. If he gives up the slave, he gives up an expensive possession. If he lets Onesimus go free after fleeing as a slave, he gives up the justice owed to him. At the same time, if he takes revenge, executes justice, and keeps his possession (which is a person), then he dishonors Paul, who is a representative of the Gospel.
This is only a hard decision if Philemon is more worried about his honor and possessions than the Lord. If his chief love and care is the Lord over himself, then he can gladly do what Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 6:7 – ’The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?’
We can be wronged in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of our possessions when we value the Lord’s people more than our own honor. When we honor the Lord’s love for the salvation of souls over the honor we get from our power or stuff, we advance the Kingdom of Heaven.
Paul is confident that Philemon will make the right choice, even to the point of praying that he’ll be free so that he can come stay at Philemon’s house. This topic won’t separate them as friends or become an awkwardness in their friendship for the sake of the Gospel. Paul thinks the best of Philemon, and is confident of his love for the Lord in the middle of this conflict they are having.
May we all care for each other so honorably.
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