Stop the Fight Before it’s a Fight about a Fight

Dan Sullivan   -  

[24] But Joab and Abishai pursued Abner. And as the sun was going down they came to the hill of Ammah, which lies before Giah on the way to the wilderness of Gibeon. [25] And the people of Benjamin gathered themselves together behind Abner and became one group and took their stand on the top of a hill. [26] Then Abner called to Joab, “Shall the sword devour forever? Do you not know that the end will be bitter? How long will it be before you tell your people to turn from the pursuit of their brothers?” [27] And Joab said, “As God lives, if you had not spoken, surely the men would not have given up the pursuit of their brothers until the morning.” [28] So Joab blew the trumpet, and all the men stopped and pursued Israel no more, nor did they fight anymore.
[29] And Abner and his men went all that night through the Arabah. They crossed the Jordan, and marching the whole morning, they came to Mahanaim.

2 Samuel 2:24–29 ESV Read More
Civil war has broken out in the land of Israel and Judah. David obeyed the Lord’s directions to return and live in the land of Hebron, while men are making a descendant of Saul the king in the north. Those that are high-up in David’s court have some connection to Saul’s court, since David used to be close enough to be Saul’s armor bearer. It is a bitter fight. 
Just before this scene, one man tells another “quit trying to kill me, how will I face your brother if I kill you?” This shows how close these ties and relationships are that are fighting for the kingdom. 
We all know, just because people are close relatives, that doesn’t mean they don’t fight. They might be close as neighbors, co-workers, family, or church members, and when given the chance, will do all but drive a spear through one another. Considering that most people don’t know how to handle conflict very well, you really have to appreciate what happened here between Abner and Joab.
Abner has just run Asahel, brother of Joab and Abishai, through with a spear. He didn’t stab him; he ran away and then stopped suddenly and shoved his spear backwards through Asahel! Now Abner does what helps in just about every conflict there will every be. He quits fighting and reasons with Joab and Abishai. 
“Look guys,” He says “We are all fighting, but we are all brothers. There is no way this ends happy if we all kill each other off!” Coming clean and reasoning with Joab works. Joab, who is no wimp, and Abishai (aka. killed 300 men with his spear in a single fight) both relent and travel night and day back to their homes. It wasn’t because they were wimps or incapable of the win, but because they understood this battle was pointless. 
So many fights we fight are pointless when you have this freeze and consider moment. It’s not worth harboring bitterness or giving the silent treatment when you realize the end of the battle is just a bunch of dead relationships. At some point the fight isn’t about what you were fighting about originally, but it’s about winning the fight. That’s where Joab was. He was in hot pursuit and had to win until Abner reminded him of the price of victory. 
What an example to look toward! 
Instead of vengeance or self-protection, reason. 
Instead of jumping to conclusions about how evil the enemy is, compromise.  
Instead of luring their enemies into a brutal death trap, offering freedom and peace. 
Instead of the war over who will win and who will lose, they considered their original goals: to be a nation of brothers, God’s people!
It is risky, but Abner’s move from the higher ground saved a lot of lives that day. The guy that had introduced David to Saul after the victory over Goliath knew that there were bigger things to fight than each other. They would need all of the help they could give each other in the coming days of David’s kingdom. 
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